Bromwell High

This week our three girls prepare a presentation on the theme of tolerance, a subject which highlights the multi-cultural diversity within Bromwell High, but which Latrina dismisses out of hand as being "for gays". Keisha and Natella become arch rivals in a bid to win a prize which seemingly doesn't exist. Meanwhile Iqbal and Mr Bibby find themselves in dire financial straits after demolishing a block of flats without evacuating the residents, resulting in numerous deaths and an equal number of compensation claims from bereaved relatives. When Latrina and Keisha meet a bunch of gypsies who are squatting in the playground, they decide to organise a bare-knuckle fight, which they hope will ease Iqbal's money worries and enhance their own presentations. Will the girls be able to demonstrate tolerance within Bromwell High, or will that "stinking, ginger freak" Kylie come out on top for once?

When a prevalent mobile phone thief continues to evade the local police, Inspector Lehman decides to pay Bromwell High a visit. Lehman advises maverick Headmaster Iqbal that he will be leaving PC Carter at the school in a bid to catch the thief, and threatens that if Iqbal does not comply with the police, they will clamp down on his illegal animal trade. Spurred on by a meeting with the careers adviser, Latrina embarks on a quest to catch the mobile phone thief, and joins forces with PC Carter. As the mystery remains unsolved and the mobile "teef" continues to pilfer the pupils' phones, Iqbal feels the net closing in on his illegal animal trade and is forced to turn to "loony Plan B".

Bromwell High has a new pupil - blonde-haired blue-eyed Spencer. Keisha starts to experience strange warm and tingly feelings every time she sees Spencer, causing her to shower him not with affection, but with punches. Meanwhile the Head of Year Eight position becomes vacant, resulting in a hard-fought battle between Miss Dickson ("the slutty one") and Mr Philips ("the stupid one"), both of whom set out to impress Iqbal with their teaching prowess. Keisha's violent tendencies land her in court where the "lady lawyer" puts it to Keisha that she in fact fancies Spencer, an accusation which Keisha strenuously denies. Will Keisha agree to ask Spencer out to save her own skin?

After a sensational performance at the school music evening, Mr Anderson, the English teacher, is offered a career as a pop star, leaving the rest of the teachers to ponder their own pathetic and unrewarding careers in the classroom. Depressed and dreaming of pastures new, they resign with immediate effect on their own very personal routes to fame and fortune, and Iqbal is faced with the problem of replacing an entire staff. Meanwhile, the local education authority advises that Bromwell High must enter a talented pupil in the National Schools Music Competition. Keisha is selected but Natella is, as always, desperate to take part. Will Natella betray Keisha in a bid for musical stardom? And can Iqbal really substitute the teachers with monkeys?

Keisha's fascination with pyromania has spiralled out of control and she is unable to stop herself setting fire to things, including the school premises. Iqbal's real problems start, however, when one of Keisha's fires inadvertently highlights the fact that Bromwell High has no wheelchair access. Natella is outraged and spearheads a lobbying group, "The Inhalers Club", to campaign against the injustice, but her interfering riles the infamous school bully, Aisha, who embarks on a quest to mash her up. Iqbal and Bibby reluctantly agree to rectify the situation, but when they discover that they can become eligible for E.U. funding by employing wheelchair-bound teachers, they embark on a particularly politically incorrect recruitment drive.

It's Valentine's Day at Bromwell High but Natella has persuaded our laydeez to give it a miss this year on the basis that it is a meaningless market event created by greeting card companies to boost sales figures. Keisha and Latrina are none too pleased with Natella when Miss Dickson decides to banish all pupils without cards to "ugly class", but things start to look up for the girls as Davis - the coolest boy in the school - is seen putting a Valentine's card in Keisha and Natella's box. Who is meant for? Meanwhile, Iqbal and Bibby are being pursued by the mother of a pupil who fell into a hole in the playground because she could not read the six-foot danger sign next to it. Bibby needs a scapegoat to stand up in court and take the rap and unwisely decides upon the witless and weak-willed Martin Jackson.